Years ago, my dad gave me some advice that was very important to my future. He said stop thinking so much. I didn’t fully understand, because thinking was something he always encouraged me to do. What he was trying to teach me, was to stop thinking about myself, my problems, what people think of me, how I feel and in general anything that affected my spirit negatively. It took a while, but eventually I learned how to stop thinking about things I shouldn’t think about. I believe that this is most people’s problem after a fall. The more you think about something, the more it drags you down.
One of the things dad taught me was, to stop talking about what I did not want to think about, because talking about it anchored it into my mind. He noticed that I often, apologetically expressed how I was feeling about something negative. It wasn’t that he minded helping me carry the load as much as it was that it dragged me down when I talked about it. He said, “Son don’t talk about something to someone just to release it because it’s not releasing it. It’s actually anchoring it in. People will bear your burden because they see the burden, not because you’re talking about it. When you get together with people and unload your feelings, what you’re really doing is anchoring the negative feelings inside yourself. If you have a burden, tell someone what the burden is and then stop talking about it.
That helped me immensely. Even now, when I write about personal situations I’m thinking about another person’s problem more than my own. I’m past the problem. I’m not saying it doesn’t exist, but I’m past being affected by it. People sometimes sympathize with me, when in reality, I’m fine. I’m expressing my situation to relate myself to those who are dealing with the same situation with which I have already dealt. My writing is emotionally unattached, because I detached myself from those emotions long ago. If you are struggling to be consistent, perhaps it is because you’re constantly anchoring the negatives into yourself by either thinking, or perhaps talking about them.
For example my wife and I never talk about problems. Never. If there is something we need to deal with we deal with it, but we don’t just sit around and talk about it. We have an amazing happiness, because I do not anchor her or me down with what’s going on. If I have a bad day, I’m not going to talk about that bad day, because then she can’t help make the day better, when we’re together.
You can minister to others better, when you quit thinking so much about whether or not you’re saying the right thing, doing the right thing or feeling the right thing. Stop thinking so much about what people even think about you, and just start to minister to others. When a doctor walks into a hospital room, he doesn’t worry about what the patient thinks of him. If he did, he would be a terrible doctor. He walks into the hospital room to deal with the patient and moves on. He doesn’t care what they think of him. His job is to treat them. That is how I see ministry. I don’t put stuff out there, and worry about what people think of me. I just put it out there and hope others get better. Whether they like me or not, is irrelevant to whether or not the person is getting better. All of this revolves around the idea, that often it is in over thinking, that we hurt ourselves the most. (DH)