11. Wounded By Another’s Fall
What do you do when someone has hurt you or when someone has disappointed you such as a spouse, a child, a friend or even a Christian leader. Many times, our reactions determine what happens in the life of that individual. If we react, usually we react the wrong way. The key is thinking about what you should do and asking God to give you the strength to do it. Let me share with you several things that don’t work when you’re trying to reach a person who has failed the Lord or one who disappointed you.
1. Shame. One of the worst things you can do is try to shame someone. Shaming them is to try to make them feel like they have done something to hurt you. Shame does not work. Most of the time when you shame someone you counteract what you really want.
2. Guilt. A lot of times when someone has done something to hurt us we want them to go on a guilt trip. We either think it’s going to make us feel better or somehow it’s going to convict them. Guilt is not conviction. You want them to be convicted of the Holy Spirit not guilted by you.
3. Sympathy. Many times when someone hurts us we want them to feel that hurt. In other words we want them to feel sympathy for what they’ve done to us and we hope that it will cause them to repent. You have to decide right off the bat that it’s not about you. If you make it about you, you will lose your opportunity to help that person get right and make things right. Be careful that you’re not looking for self satisfaction.
4. Fear. Your emotional outburst at someone and your threats will do no good. Do not use threats. Do not use hostility in an attempt to bring someone back. Not only will it not work but often times it will only serve to alienate them.
5. Pressure. Many times we put pressure on people thinking that we will force them to make a decision. Sadly, they often make the wrong decision. Don’t pressure them. Give them space and time. Let God do his work in their lives.
So it kinda sounds like we are the ones having to carry the burden for the one who has hurt us. Absolutely! If you love someone and they failed you, you must be careful that you are the one who rises above yourself and does what’s best to try to salvage that person as well as the relationship. (DH)